Christmas. Here and gone. It was very peaceful. No arguing, no fighting, no gimme gimme. Of course, that could have been because I decided, after a long day of work, no offers of help, and tons of presents to wrap on Christmas Eve, that: I am done. I am exhausted. I am sore. I am hurt. I am tired. Jesus is born, that is the gift.
And I went to bed, and there were no presents under the tree in the morning, except for a pair of fleece pj bottoms for all of us. And I was happy, and satisfied, and Rested.
The boys went back to bed until we went to Gramma's for Christmas breakfast.
It was a nice, although different, Christmas Day.

I think they were in shock.

Blogs I've visited

OK, well, I guess I'm not that great at blogging, but it's just for me anyway. I have been looking at other blogs and have found some AWESOME bloggers out there with amazing, funny and touching stories to tell. So, I'll keep looking at what's around, keep working at my life, and just keep on going. I have found Snapfish to be a wonderful site, and I've been busy busy busy organizing some of my pictures on there. It's really neat how I don't have to have my photo's sitting around in boxes here and there, and can just upload them to a site, and still have them on my computer to look at when I want. :-)
On the other hand, I like the speed of the digital camera's and not having to really wait for pictures to be developed, but I do miss my 35 mm film. I need a new camera anyway, perhaps the Canon SLR digital would be an excellent choice.
If I'm going to do that, then I'm going to need to save my money. Well, that is if there is going to be any left in my retirement fund after the fall of Wall Street.

I do have to say though, my boys took a roof off today and put a new one on this afternoon, how great--I wish they could use all that energy and can do attitude to do some revamping of our own house.

What have I done....

OK, went to my class reunion, won't tell you how many years its been, but ... a lot. It was nice to see the people, but there are still what appear to be cliques. I didn't notice it so much the last couple reunions, but, well, some people just seem to hang together. Does being back with the same crowd make you act the same way? I know, the friends I have now, some of them still friends from school, are the ones that I loved then, and still do. Now I also have people that I haven't seen in years, but will never forget, nor want to. We don't always keep in touch, but it is sort of like souls with intuition, and when I do see them, I feel an emotional sweep go through me. It is kind of amazing. I always thought that who you were and what you did in high school didn't define you as a person, (although I didn't come to that conclusion until I was out of school for at least 10 years) and I do see that some people who weren't that highly motivated then, have done some fantastic things with their lives. On the other hand, the cheerleaders, will always be the cheerleaders, and the world certainly needs them, but though we can talk, and kind of catch up, there really isn't a lot to say. It is nice to know what everyone is doing, and nice to know how they are doing. There of course were people that didn't come, that I really wished would have. People that have gotten lost, or really moved on and out of any place in my life, or me in theirs. Does that mean then, that the times we had weren't special, or important, or that they are never thought of again? No, probably some people just hold on to things longer, or need to keep the past in the past. I don't think so much that reunions are to say "look what happened to him or her", in a bad way, as they are "Oh wow, look at what they've done/become/accomplished. They are future looking back glimpses of our childhoods, able to see once more through the eyes of innocence that we used to map our futures. It is our own shortcomings and failures that affect us the most, not others. Sadly, we do tend to turn outward to judge the others, just like we did in school. Things were at times difficult, and heart wrenching---what emotions of teenagers aren't? But the passion with which those days were lived and fretted over, the fears, the tears, the joy, has rarely been at such a height again. It makes me sad to think, that in trying to protect my own children, I have stolen from them. The painful, roller coaster of emotion that are the building blocks of their future and I almost cannot bear to let be. I always want to fix it. It hurts Me too much to let Them be hurt. And in realizing that, I can see where my own parents, who wanted everything to be smooth and nice (but it wasn't) tried to fix things for me. That is where "you don't understand" comes into play. They understood, from their own pain, too much for me to realize. I was in my own pain, and my children must face theirs. Without the deep, turbulent, passionate, life defining emotions to guide and propel them, how are they going to really live life and become empathetic, kind and balanced human beings?

After almost 20 years of marriage, 2 kids, dogs, cats, fish, chickens, ducks and other assorted members--I STILL can't get anyone to understand that I need some cooperation. That I (or the dad) am the one that sets the rules, not grandparents, not kids, not aunts uncles cousins or neighbors or whoever they want to listen to at the time. I want my house cleaned, I want the garage cleaned, I want the yard to not look like a tornado deposited pieces of Dorothy's house on our front lawn. I want these teenage kids and wanna be teenage husband to be responsible and appropriate and do the thing that needs to be done WHEN it needs to be done. To do daily chores, not just when they have to because I won't let them go somewhere if they don't. I work long hours, full time--it is summer break for goodness sake. Days spent in front of the TV, or playing their video games, or just sleeping past noon shouldn't be an everyday occurrence, and then ask me whats to eat when I get home after 14 hours. Are you going to pay for drivers training, when can we go to the Y, there's nothing to do here, why won't you let me do anything with my friends, I'm 15, we just want to go riding around......and on and on and on. It's going to drive me mad. Just had to say it. I think I'm going to start my . any day now.