Learning

I'm on a learning curve, highway, river....whatever it is, it or I'm moving and all kinds of new thoughts, ideas, ways of thinking and perspectives keep emerging. It is exciting and scary at the same time. I want the newness and the adventure of it, but it is difficult to shrug off an old coat that I was so comfy in.
I want to see inside me, clearly, without prejudice. But in order to do that, I need an objective perspective from someone else. Thank goodness for therapy.
I wonder really where we will be year from now. Life is so uncertain. I've begun going to the gym, kind of regularly. A trainer once a week that works me into a sweaty mess. But it's good. I'm learning to eat better, and to eat small meals more frequently. It seems to work, my clothes are a little looser, I just need to keep it up.
I guess that is what I'm getting at. It's my turn, my time, for me. I need to make commitments to myself, and keep them. Probably a schedule would be good, so I can 'see' it. Much better than the abstract of just thinking about it.
Maybe a year from now I'll be more fit, more self confident, less worried about how my kids aren't where I think they should be....maybe they'll have grown a little more responsible. I want to have traveled someplace, to the ocean, to another country, or to another state. Just to shake things up. I want to go back to school for my Bachelor's, I want to volunteer more, give more, love more. And....I want to write more. It seems to keep some thoughts in order, especially when there is no one I want to bother with them. We'll see. I'll keep and open mind, and an open heart, and try to just live, be brave, and live.